What’s in the new name of this blog? I’ve been around the blogging block for a few years. I’m just taking the dog and pony show down another avenue. I hope you’ll stay on for the journey. So, what the heck do spoons have to do with anything? Maybe I’m referring to all the lost spoons my children took out into the yard when they were wee tots and used to dig tiny holes to China. It’s all the spoons that are mysteriously captured in the dishwasher wars. They are held hostage somewhere underneath kinda like the sock monster in the washer. Surely I’m referring to a weird trendy diet that emphasizes their platform around the lack of metaphoric spoonfuls that I’m not eating. It is so not in any way a reference figuratively good or bad to Rosie and her spoon antics. As in any guessing game those are good but not the right answers.
I can’t take credit for the blog explanation to spoon theory. I can’t even take credit for finding it. My best gal friend shares a lot of the same chronic illness challenges as me and she found this amazing medical explanation in real life people terms. I can’t copy and paste her explanation because of the copy right. Here is the link for you to read her short analogy. “The Spoon Theory” written by Christine Miserandino. It’s worth reading!
P Pic pic:http://goramstitches.blogspot.com/
When I read it for the first I cried. It was me, written by some else’s pen in black and white. I don’t have Lupus or all of her challenges but the theory with its reality in cause and effect are me. For some years even before the diagnosis I suffered from much of these traits. When I read the explanation out loud to Hunny he replied with, “That’s you!” I would continually beat myself up into thinking I was lazy. I wasn’t a good mom ‘cause I could function like a speed of lightning one day and pay for it the next day in the chair barely able to move. When I read this simple analogy it was like some standing up and testifying to my life and the things that made me feel so alone – now made such sense. Guess what, it’s not all in my head.
Last night I had the worst attack with my IC since being home from the hospital. We are still not quite sure what triggered the gnarly flare as it could be several things or just the combination of a few. Hunny so sweetly found me fresh clothes, pain meds, and rubbed my tummy with lavender oil. As I drifted to sleep I began pondering my spoons for tomorrow. I will be in a chair all day limited to what I can do. If push further than I have spoons borrowing from the next day it will in no way help me.
I’m not looking for sympathy – I say that a lot but rather awareness. Many of our friends suffer in silence because they too have beat themselves up feeling lazy or inefficient. The other day I had sailed through the day with house cleaning and mundane chores of life. Late afternoon I’d hit a nose dive crash and lil sister was quizzing me trying to find out what ails me. I muttered too few spoons. She looked at me like I was delusional and went to cook supper for the family. I’m so thankful for her. 🙂 Later I mentioned maybe I hadn’t eaten enough lunch and possibly that’s what took my spoons. She laughed and said she thought I’d meant that I’d not eaten enough spoonfuls of peanut butter that day.
There are so many things as yet I want to do. I have learned to keep a slower pace and to be more flexible. I’m not ready to stop living now that I know what battle I fight I can put on my boxing gloves and tackle it with deliberate action. This race isn’t for the faint of heart but rather of courage for the soul even on days spent in the reclining prison. Big Hugs and Love for the Moms who have to get up and go to work even when they can’t. This spoonies trend has taken off with rockets. I had no idea. There are shirts, websites, Facebook pages with support groups, and real women living each day just like us. Keep looking to the Lord, pace yourself, and make realistic lists!