Faith · HoneyB 🐝

And If Not….

Guest blog from a chronic sister that I hold in high regard. Pray for her as she begins a new journey and God begins a great work in her life. 💜Lena

So the word is out. No more hiding from it, now is the time to wait in faith. Some of you may know that I am sick. Some of you may have thought it was all in my head, and you were right. The MRI I just finished proved that my problem is indeed, all in my head. The front and right lobe of my brain to be exact. I have spent the last weeks coming to terms with the walker that has become my new companion and the loss of some of my independence. I have struggled with the negative feelings that came from this new normal and was on the winning end.  I have watched God bless me in ways I never would have imagined and sat in awe of all the love and support that has come from my friends, family, church and even some of the unlikeliest of places. I was just coming to terms with what this new leg of the journey would entail when a follow up visit to my wonder doctor (think House) set it all in a spin again. From the beginning she was more worried about my cognitive issues than the pain caused by my fibromyalgia. Early in, I started to hear whispers about MS, Lupus, and other scary words. In light of the MRI, those words are back and a real possibility. I go see a Neurologist this Thursday, hoping she can put a firm name on what is stealing my mind and freedom. I cried when again she said the words Lupus and MS. That was yesterday. Today as I prepare my papers for this new member of my I’m-gonna-kick-this team, I can’t help but think of three men I always loved reading about as a child. Shadrach, Meshach and a billy goat. No wait..Abednego.  Three men who were threatened with a fire much hotter than the one that threatens me today and said.

“If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up. Daniel 3:17-18

There is a song that I keep running in my head by Mercy Me “Even IF”.

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

As I sit typing this, I know He is able to deliver me from this. But maybe He won’t. Maybe this is part of a plan for my life I could never have forseen. Jeremiah 29:11 promises me that His plan is for my good. So no matter what Dr. Bruce says on Thursday,

 It is well with my soul.

~ HunnyB 🐝