Archives 2010 · Farmlife

Longhorn Mayhem

I sure wish, I’d had a cell phone back then and snapped a picture to go with this one.  Sis and I were remembering this one just the other day. 🙂

Hunny Bun, my dynamic duo partner loves to barter.  Hunny will work for someone sweating and laboring; all while making laundry for me and seldom in return will he accept money.  One fine day he struck a deal with a man about a steer as payment. That meant meat for the freezer.  They kept the steer and feed it out until time to process it.  There would be no attachment issues from Hunny or the kids.

Hunny took the morning off of work to transport the longhorn, code name Bign’, to the slaughter house.  When he returned home he informed me, “OH, by the way, you have to go back and pick up the head.”

“Head?  What head? They don’t keep that?”  Nope, I guess he wanted that as a souvenir.

“Hmmm. this will be fun,” I thought to myself.

So, we set out, the kids and I in Grandpa’s Jeep. That’s a whole nother can of worms to explain.  We seem to have vehicular-itus and it might be catchin’.  The girls were fairly quiet on the drive over.  Son, on the other hand couldn’t stop talking.  We pulled around back so they could load the head in the back of the car. Sis was sitting in the back seat turning several shades of a pale.  She looked sea sick. Son, was giddy with excitement and wanting to go in and look around the meat house.

The doc hand loading us up set the severed head in an empty syrup tub that we brought.  He casually flopped the ears over toward the inside.  I forgot to mention the steer is a longhorn.  His majestic horns stretched from window to window in the Grand Cherokee.  The windows in this old jeep didn’t roll down easily and were hard to put back up. We leave them up as a general rule so we don’t have trouble. Sis had rolled hers as far as half way and had her mouth and nose out in the window like a dog.  I managed to convince her to roll the window up so the car could say cool with the A/C blowing.  It was 103′ degrees out that day.  I urged her to reconsider that the hot air might have an adverse effect on the smell.

The entire ride home she was afraid he was going to roll over the seat and land in her lap.  Bug, was snoring cheek to the window showing no signs of distress.  Son, was deep in conversation telling me over and over about how he and dad are going to put the head up into a tree to let the bugs clean it up.

We finally made it home and Sis bailed at the gate as soon as the car came to a stop.  She said, she didn’t mind walking the long, hot drive home today.  We got our meat back this week.  The reviews are outstanding.  We will definitely do this twice, just not the head part.

Years later we still have him.  He has taken his honorary place among the flowers as yard decor.  Son, would have been just turning ten years old and Sis was twelve.


Archives: Original print date: September 5, 2010

Revised for Re-post.


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