Strategy 4- Family

“If I were your enemy, I’d seek to disintegrate your family and destroy every member of it.  I’d want to tear away at your trust and unity and turn everyone’s love inward on themselves.  I would make sure your family didn’t look anything like it’s supposed to.  Because then people would look at your Christian marriage, your Christian kids, and see your no different, no stronger than anybody else— that God, underneath it all, really doesn’t change anything.  (Shirer Pg. 71)

Granny used to say, “You can talk about me- but don’t talk about my kids and grandkids.” She could talk about them all day long—but don’t you dare say anything bad about them. We need to talk about our kids and our families. We need to get real with our issues and form a battle plan.   If you have the perfect family, that class is meeting down the hall. If your family has issues then stay right here cause we are fixing to get to the heart of the matter.

The enemy does not want the family to work. An effective family produces lil Christians that replicate and witness to others and further the kingdom of God.

The enemy purposefully disrupts a marriage and wants to up root kids.  If we are all miserable and emotionally tired we can’t fight the one who is waged the war against us.

Let’s start with marriage.


Turn to Ephesians 5:22-33 this should come as a review for most of us.  As we studied this text in our last book study of “The Help Meet” by Debi Pearl.  We are going to look at the heavenly design of marriage.

V-22 submit to your own husband….submit means: To yield, resign or surrender to the power, will or authority of another;

The picture of marriage is a mirror of God’s love for us.  The “us” being the church, the bride- and the groom is Jesus.  Jesus loved “us” so much that he died for us. Being that he gave everything – we as a church submit to his authority and leadership.  That is the same for us wives. We are to submit to our husbands.   That doesn’t mean we don’t have our own mind and thoughts.  That means we yield to him. How we should yield to him: Finances, house purchases, vehicles, bills,or  attending services.   Rob a store? No, we should not comply with things that go directly against God’s law and statutes in our lives.

But so many times in marriage we feel like we are in a competition with him (husband). We, women, have something to prove- that we are equal, smarter, better or just as capable.   We have to know it all, do it better, or show him up.  We aren’t competing with him- we are on the same team.  We were made to compliment him- of course we are talented – we have to be to meet his needs.

“I urge you for the sake of your family, take the fight into your prayer room rather than your living room- get ready to go to war for your family and get ready to see some changes you’ve never seen happen before”  (Shirer)

This is so hard, as women we want to be heard, need to be heard- no matter who we are indifferent with… kids, husband, friends, or some random person..

Most couples get married blissfully blind and are in love.  As is should be right- otherwise no one would ever get married.  They have an ominous sparkling haze over our eyes that slowly begins to fall like an opera curtain.

With the blessing of marriage come new challenges that the evil one would seek to use against you.

What are some things that change when you get married?  Sharing covers, sharing anything, house space, what to eat, dirty socks, toilet paper rolls, who’s gonna mow, wash, cook – and so on.

If you allow the evil one to gouge and manipulate things to fester your marriage will get infected….Your marriage is something that started out so beautiful and as a picture of God’s love for us —-is just not resembling of that anymore.

Instead of blind love now you see dirty socks, empty dishes, unpaid bills, differing spending opinions, and a host of irritating pet peeve frustrations.  It all boils down to one letter.  The “I” in  Selfishness. The enemy will uses selfishness and the world encourages the same to put yourself above all else around you because you deserve it.  100% of the time that’s the root cause in a marriage is focusing on one’s own desires instead of others.

Do you try to be the Holy Spirit for your husband?  You can see clearly what needs to be done- if he would just listen to you.  If he would just do things your way he’d see that it’s more effective.  Have you made it your mission to “Fix” him?

Ladies, this isn’t your job! I hate to tell you.  It is your job to pray for him. It is your job to stand in the gap and pray for him every day as an intercessor as his advocate with the father—this is how you go to battle for him and make a difference.   Marriage is a team, we love each other and we wanted to spend every waking moment together- that’s why we married right?! – We need to start acting like it.

Then answer to the question “What do I do about him and his issues?”  The answer to that is to respect him and leave it to God.  That doesn’t mean he’s off the hook. It means you are going to step back, pray, and let God do the work.  You may discover it’s not him that needs…. it maybe a little of both of you and more of you.  PRAY for HIM- he doesn’t need a nagging /prickly wifey- that will drive him away.

We must remember to take a step back and remember who the real enemy is and go after him instead of you husband:

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

Let’s move on to children.


The enemy wants our kids.  He doesn’t want another generation for God.  If he can disrupt them early and shake up their stability– That’s his goal- to steal, kill, and destroy- even our kids.

Our children have fears and insecurities just as we do.  This can be a big one touching most all kids at one point in their childhood.  Who has ever been scared of the dark?  When my kids were we prayed with them each time and even plead the blood of Jesus to clear the room of any unwanted guests.  Fear is somewhat normal as a child grows- teaching them how to overcome it, teaching them to pray, and to look to God when things close in is important.

Not just fear can be a problem, but being timid, shy, bull headed, angry, too rambunctious, anxious, not slow to think, low self-esteem, very dependent, lazy or very proud and blind to the world around them.

How about temptations that our kids face.  We don’t want to think about these but alcohol, drugs, pornography, – at some point they will be faced with making a decision while they are away from us. We want them to be strong in the face of temptation.

I don’t want the evil one to run rough shod over my kids and you don’t either. We are good parent to see to their education, work ethic, sports, and that they attend church regular.  And still we have a falling away as a whole it seems that the odds are stacked against and that we as Christians just can’t take the high ground.

The Answer for our kids is simple:  Pray specific for them! Ask God for the positive opposite.  Shy—Courage, temptations—strength, conviction, so on.  Ask God for wisdom, protection, and grace. Pray over them daily, at the table with them, at night for them, in all aspects of life – teach them to pray by being a praying example.

Remember: You aren’t at war with your own flesh and blood- you love them, mother pray for them.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

Let’s move to extended family and church family.

This is the cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, grands, close family friends and church members dept. Is there indifference there?  Can you see the enemy plaguing any of their families? Do you see symptoms on the outside looking in? Have they ever disagreed with you on a major issue and you just thought that you’d never survive the scrutiny.  Maybe there are salvation issues that conflict and disrupt fellowship with them.

I have known several families that the father was a pastor and the wife was an ideal example of a wife.  And still one or more of their children went astray badly sucked up by the world.

The answer is the same:  pray, pray, pray!  Read Ephesians 6:12 again!

Single woman:

Don’t sit there and think that this isn’t for you so you get a pass this lesson.  Hum… This very much applies to you.  We need all hands on deck.  What does that phrase mean in our house?  It means that no can hide out in their room- everyone has to help!

We need everyone praying if we are going to make some change.  Do you come from a family or were you hatched?  If you are a human being you have a role to place, a position to fill, and opportunity to seize.

We learned in “Help meet” to pray for the guy that God is preparing you for. So you can complement him and serve God together.

Our advantage is what Satan hasn’t bargained for. And that is a praying wife, woman, sister, and friend, — this is how we will make some waves.

Family is the key—we need to assume a fighting position!

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood…… Ephesians 6:12

Make a list of weaknesses the area’s in your family that need prayer.  Couple those with attributes that are the opposite.  Petition God on behalf of your family.  After all:  you love them more than anyone else.  If you won’t stand in the prayer gap- who will?




photo credit: MTSOfan <a href=”″>Hands at the Altar</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;
photo credit: RebeccaVC1 <a href=”″>The R Family – 2</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;